Mammas, Don't Shrink
Hi Friends! Is anyone else truckin' right along in January, eating all the good things and then BAM!!, those Girl Scouts hit the streets and now all you have are Thin Mints on the brain?? I'm there, haha. Seriously though, that organization is genius. Don't compete with Christmas, then wait until people fall off the health bandwagon after the New Year and then ATTACK!
OK, OK, I didn't bring you here to talk about Girl Scouts. I'm writing to explain my rather bold comment on my Instagram post. Now, as a disclaimer, this is not for the Mammas of infants, you are most likely in survival mode, trying to remember to brush your teeth in the morning and not put the cereal in the fridge and milk in the cabinet. You know what I'm talking about.
I'm talking to the mommas who have kids in sports and rodeos, lessons, dance, you know, all the activities. Your kids are probably in elementary or junior high or you homeschool, spending lots of time shuttling and shuffling. The mommas who talk about the things they "used to do".
Now, I am not preaching self care here...I'm talking IDENTITY.
This all came about when Abby came to me a few months ago complaining about having to do a story on Instagram. She confessed that she didn't love the pressure of being the face of our company (as I deemed her), the pressure of writing posts, being in ALL of the photos and spending so much time on social.
Now let me tell you where I was coming from...I wanted Abby to have FULL credit for her idea. I wanted her to have the "spotlight" because I was so dang proud of her for her ideas and work at such a young age. But I started realizing that I was enforcing this norm of child before parent...parent in the background, child in the spotlight. Please don't get mad, I'm getting to my point. I do not believe we need to take the spotlight off our children.
When I was in the corporate world, I learned to do all the work behind the scenes to make the executives look good. I always took a back seat and would rarely own my accomplishments, passing praise off to someone else. It also made me feel more comfortable if, dare I say, something failed? Maybe we learn to do this as children? Especially in Mother/Daughter relationships? Is it just me?
So, yep, I was doing this very thing in OUR company, exemplifying for Abby that Moms go behind the scenes, behind the camera and that the world is her oyster, but not mine. I was doing A LOT of work too and we are partners.
Furthermore, I stopped barrel racing to build the company with Abby. I really made my identity about making Abby successful. She noticed. So I stepped up, to be side by side with her, to run our company as partners. I have a strong role and so does she.
I share all this to encourage you to think about how you're showing your strength to your daughter, to your kids. Are you putting a business dream on hold? Did you give up riding, yoga, art, writing, running? Your kids need to see you step into your power and identity so they can do the same as adults.
I know there is a ton of attention on this very topic of "playing big", but I'm not saying that. I'm saying show your kids and talk to your kids about those things that you'd like to accomplish or get back to. Tell them your goals and carve out a few minutes to work on them, in front of them. Get them involved in it. You'll be surprised how your kids can be your biggest supporters and help hold you accountable. If you've strayed from your horse journey and now spend your time in the stands cheering them on, that's GREAT...but get on every once in a while and show them that cowgirl side of you. They're going to remember this when they start having a family.
I challenge you to bring it up...in the car, around the dinner table, wherever it might be and let me know what they say to you. I can't wait to hear about these conversations you have with your kids and what your goals are. Tell me in the comments, on social privately or comment on the post!
Get out there and saddle up Mommas!